The Senator's Wife

Hi Devin, I'm so glad that you like it and were able to get everything working. Here are my answers to the reading guide questions;

1. Have you read any of Sue Miller's other works? Nope, have any of you ladies?

2. In the second paragraph of Chapter One, Miller says, "Meri has occupied the backseat the whole time—at first because that's just how it happened when they all got in the car, then by choice." What does this tell us about Meri? Did your first impression of her turn out to be accurate? I picked up on this paragraph when I had first came across it and it seemed to be a blinking neon sign saying "Hey this is foreshadowing"! I think this accurately describes Meri and Nat's relationship through the book.

3. Discuss the title. Why do you think Miller called her novel "The Senator's Wife" when Meri's story gets equal time? Not too sure, maybe because Meri is consumed with Delia. I found it interesting that both woman describe themselves as their husband's wife and what they do. A Senator's wife or a Professor's wife.

4. How does Meri's childhood, and specifically her relationship with her own mother, influence her relationship with Delia? Delia is a replacement for Meri's mother in her mind and looks to learn about Delia and seek her approval.

5. Re-read the top of page 33, Delia's first encounter with Nathan. What is her perception of him and his attitude towards Meri? Do you think she's right? He is annoyed with Meri being silly which seems to be her true self.

6. Several times in the novel, it's suggested that moving to a new home equals an opportunity for new beginnings. Which move proves to be most important to Delia? I think it would be her move to France when she was finally finished with Tom.

7. Meri seems to take great pleasure in keeping secrets. Why do you think that is? How does it help her, and how does it harm her? Ultimately, is it good for her marriage? By keeping secrets Meri is able to feel that she has power over Nathan by not telling him and she enjoys having this power.

8. On page 61 Meri tells Nathan about the effect Delia has on her. Discuss the idea of aperçus—why do you think Meri is so shaken by Delia's statements? Have you ever known someone who has a similar effect on you? Delia is able to sum up where Meri is in life because she's already been there and that summation seems simple and accurate. Kind of like not being able to finally see the forest amongst the trees. Alisha had mentioned when we talked that she felt that it was more because Meri was just awed by Delia and anything that the woman said Meri would think was amazing. After hearing I agree with her on this as well.

9. One major theme in the novel is the conflict between public and private lives. Which character is most comfortable living in public? Least comfortable? In what ways do Meri, Delia, Nathan, and Tom each have both private and public aspects? Most comfortable - Tom; Least - Nathan

10. At times there are parallels between Meri and Tom, Delia and Nathan, and at other times the pairings are rearranged. Who do you think is most similar? Most unlike each other? Who would you most like to spend time with, if these were real people? I can see a few pairings on this. I would like to spend time with Tom or maybe Delia but honestly I could live with out meeting any.

11. Delia reads Anne Apthorp's letters, and the results are beneficial and illuminating. What is the result when Meri reads the Naughtons' correspondence? She feels bad about reading it and wants to find out more about their past.

12. What purpose does the 50-page flashback (beginning on page 91) serve? What do we learn about these characters that we might not know otherwise? We learn how the affairs started and what has built up to where Delia and Tom are at in the present.

13. Meri has a difficult time accepting her pregnancy and motherhood. What does this say about her? Are we led to dislike her, or feel compassionate towards her? How do you think Miller feels about the character she created? Overall it seems that Meri felt trapped in the marriage and this was just another part that will hold her back. I thought the part where her water broke was pretty funny!

14. Delia's relationships with her grown children are quite varied. Why do you think she wound up with three such different results? What kind of mother was she? The kids reactions all seem to stem from their childhood and they each dealt with the same things in a different way. She seems like a fine mother with her kids but a poor example for them by sticking by Tom.

15. Discuss Delia and Tom's relationship. Who has the most power, and how is it wielded? What would you have done in Delia's place at these key junctures: When she found out about Carolee; when Tom had his stroke; when she walked in on Tom and Meri? Tom has the most power and Delia is just fooling herself that she has an equal footing. found out about Carolee - I would have called him on it when she walked into the kitchen and noticed Carolee's reaction to him saying "Hi honey". I would have left him after that. after his stroke - I think I would have helped take care of him but not had him live in my house. Tom & Meri - umm, this was just too weird I'd be pissed but don't really know what I would have done.

16. Nursing in public is challenging for many women, even today. On page 229, Meri does it in 1994, with heartbreaking results. Have you ever nursed in public? What do you think of the practice? How does this tie in to Miller's public vs. private themes? I have, but I try to before I leave when ever I can. Public and private sometimes mix and people draw that line between the two differently.

17. On page 301, Tom says to Meri, "Mea culpa!" Is he really taking the blame? Does he deserve it? He's at least partly to blame and does deserve it.

18. Reflecting upon the events of 1994, Meri thinks on page 305, "In the end she has come to think it was Tom who changed her more, who gave her something, something that she didn't know she needed." What did Tom give her? Is she right, about him changing her more? Tom renewed her sense of being attractive and gave her attention that she has needed.

19. Re-read the last paragraph of the novel. Did Meri really act out of love? Why do you think she did it? What price did she pay, if any? I don't really think that she acted out of love.

So here are some other things I picked up on that weren't covered in these questions.

While reading the first half the author mentioned a few times about how different houses felt against Meri's bare feet. At her old apartment it was warm and smooth, the new house when she moved in was abrasive, and the rugs at Delia's were plush and inviting. This seemed to be a great running theme that I felt should have been carried out but seemed to be forgotten by the second half of the book.

The color blue seemed to come up a lot. If I ever read this book again I would keep an eye out for it because if it does mean anything I didn't really pick up on what. It seemed like a couple things related to Nathan's mom were described as blue. Maybe I'm just thinking that something is there with this that isn't really, who knows?! It's interesting how the title is in blue, and purposely made so that each letter is a different shade. Maybe it's how all our experiences come together to form us?

I wish that this book talked about Delia's childhood and what parts of that make her who she is. What's her relationship with her mother and father? Is she trying to fill a void with Anne's letters as Meri was? What part of her past makes her decide to stay with a man who continues to cheat on her? We learn a little about the three other main character's parent's so it seems strange that her's are left out.